Bittersweet Love Song
by LC-Lawliet
Summary: It wasn't love, not by a long shot, but it was all he had. The bittersweet love song that had become his life played endlessly in his mind. There was nothing he could do but lay there and take it. The broken plaything of the young Earl's dog. ONESHOT Sebastian x Grell one-sided


Bittersweet Love Song  
A Ciel x Sebastian x Grell fanfiction

The large grandfather clock chimed out twice, echoing unheard through the silent manor. It was late, the young master had gone to bed hours earlier, as did his servants, no matter how reluctant, Sebastian had reminded them that the young master would surely want them to have a decent night's rest so that they could readily perform their duties come morning. True, he was unable to lie, but that didn't mean that it was the entire truth either.

The real reason was the gentle rapping at the window that came only a moment later. The dark butler opened the window in reply, a playful smirk about his lips. "You're late." He offered a hand, helping a certain scarlet-clad reaper in through the window before kissing his forehead lightly.

Instead of his usual apology, the shinigami tilted his head, staring at his lover quizzically. His beautiful green eyes seemed different, lacking even, the sparkle they held whenever Sebastian was present was absent. Everything about the crimson reaper seemed to be off, he was closed off to Sebastian's presence.

"Grell?" Sebastian placed a hand on his shoulder, brushing back a few strands of his long, red hair. "Is there something wrong?"

"Sebastian…" his lover replied in a heavy sigh. The demon was slightly uneasy, Grell never said his name like that, it was always some playful pet name such as Bassy; in the rare occasion he managed to say the full 'Sebastian', it never sounded so dissociative. "I…I don't know if we can keep this up?"

His jaw dropped with shock, Grell Sutcliff, the man who adored him to the point of obsession, was the one having second thoughts about their secret relationship? How was such a thing even possible?

"As much as I love you, as thrilling as it is, sneaking around to see you without being caught by William…I just…I feel like I'm the only one, I need to know Sebastian…do you really love me?"

The jet-black butler wrapped a strong arm around his waist, using his other hand to tilt the reaper's head back to meet his eyes. "You know full well I cannot lie Grell, when I tell you I hold feelings for you, but there are reasons we are kept to our secretive meetings, however short they may be. I belong body and soul to my master, and must follow his every command until the very end. And you, as a shinigami, must uphold your duties. Our paths are very different, and our relationship forbidden."

"But you never answered my question…do you _love _me." Grell pressed. "I've seen the way you look at the Phantomhive boy, and I've come to realize you never look at anyone that way, not even me."

"I cannot say I don't harbor feelings for my master…but isn't my presence enough to satisfy you?" the butler tilted his head in that oh-so-irresistible way, making the redhead's heart flutter. Grell bit his lip and slowly shook his head. At one point, all it took was a glance in his direction from the dove-feathered raven to make him feel almost intoxicated with emotion, but as the time passed, that high slowly wore off, as did all the others. At first the sex was wondrous, and left him feeling like the true woman he so longed to feel like, but soon even that was not enough. What was sex without love? Madame Red had been able to provide that much for him. What was there in those quick glances and beautiful verse that Sebastian had so often whispered to him if in the end they had no meaning? Sex was just sex; words only hollow reminders hanging over his head, taunting him with the one thing he so desperately desired: the love of the devilish butler.

"Do you not understand how much it hurts me?" his words were as soft-spoken and meek as they were when he had been posing as Madam Red's cute yet incompetent butler. "to see you with that boy…the way you look at him..."

In truth, Sebastian knew how much it hurt the redhead, and as cruel as it seemed, he rather enjoyed it. Sure, he cared for the reaper, but not so much as to pass up on seeing him in pain. He w_as_ a demon after all. The feelings themselves were not strong enough, not as strong as those he held for Ciel, his lord and master. He didn't fawn over the object of his affections the way Grell did, no, for Sebastian did not 'love' Ciel either, it was more of a sense of curiosity and admiration that drew him in. The boy's fixation on revenge and refusal to give up on his hatred made him a horrid addiction the demon found himself unable to break away from, truth be told, as much as he hungered for his young master's soul, he actually dreaded the day he would have to devour it. What fun would that be? The game over, the addiction forcefully taken away.

Sebastian glanced back up at the pain-filled green orbs staring through him. Silently, he cursed his inability to lie. "Yes." He said quietly. "I am aware of the pain it causes you…and as much as I'd like to regret it, I find a form of entertainment out of it." He yanked his white gloves off using his teeth, his bare hands tracing up the reaper's arm. "And I'm sorry Grell, but I cannot say I love you…however I can say you are a very ravishing creature…" he tugged at the red jacket, which Grell allowed to carelessly fall to the floor.

"I see…" he hung his head, a single tear running down his face as he let out a heavy sigh, suppressing a moan as Sebastian made quick work of removing his shirt and vest, his lips exploring every inch of Grell's perfect skin.

As much pain as it caused the Reaper in Red, he couldn't refuse his Sebastian. Even though his love was not returned, the mere attention was enough to drive him mad; yes, he it hurt him deeply, but if his misery pleased his dearest demon, then by god he'd take the misery. It was an unhappy life either way, so why not compromise. He fought hard to hold back the tears threatening to spill over as the man he loved so dearly kissed, sucked, and nipped at his neck.

It was all he was, a mere toy to a bored demon. But he couldn't stand a life without his Sebastian, when he came to the manor, he'd been determined to leave the demon if he found his feelings were not returned, but one sultry glance from the butler changed everything. Sebastian was his world, nothing would ever change that.

Sebastian's clothes fell to the floor with a light thud before his arms snaked around Grell, pulling him closer. He may have been only a toy, but there was still a victory to be had. Sebastian had never held that brat in this way.

"Are you ready?" the demon's eyes glowed as he eased Grell down on to the desk.

"Of course." The reaper forced the most playful smirk he could manage. It wasn't love, but it was all he had. The bittersweet love song that played endlessly in his mind. There was nothing he could do but lay there and take it. The broken doll of the Earl's dog.


End file.
